I’M NUTS FOR REALITY TV!

I can’t help it. Yes, I know what some of you (our distinguished writers and critics) are thinking… “Reality TV is deplorable, unintelligible drivel.” But to me, it’s my warm and happy joy at the end of a long day.

There’s nothing better than nestling in with an episode of “Big Rich Texas”. Nothing better than watching Bonnie, Kayla, DeAynni, Whitney, Amber and Shaye, flounce across the perfectly manicure laws of the country club, taking their perfectly manicured claws out at every opportunity – usually at some grand champagne and hors d'oeuvres laden society event. Delicious!

But my absolute favorite - NAY, the best gosh darn TV ever created – has to be… “Jerseylicious”. Who can forget the gripping, parking lot scuffle with Olivia Blois Sharpe and Tracy DiMarco? Where spit and split ends flew! And who can forget the sweet retaliation that followed, when Olivia kicked Tracy in the head. Yes, in the head. Glorious TV! In fact, “Jerseylicious” is such great TV; one can even turn down the volume and still be entertained.

You’d see the rather “robust” Tracy DiMarco – the byproduct of the union between a disco ball and tanning bed – gesticulating wildly with nails that could easily pop out an eyeball. One would also see guido Filippo Giove exposing his unnaturally orange eight-pack in public. And my favorite, Olivia, purveyor of the Smokey eye, animal printed and draped across beau Mikey Aktari, a man who isn’t afraid to tweeze his eyebrows and glisten with body oil. (A side note – I love how every bride that walks out of the Gatsby Salon is doomed to walk down the aisle with a Smokey eye)  All I can say is, I love you The Style Network. 

Tracy

Filippo

Olivia and Mikey

But lets not forget Discovery’s new TLC channel. “Too fat for fifteen” and “Extreme Couponing” have become my staple. What informative shows – they’ve taught me that being fat in America is cheap and easy, all you need to do is scrounge through your neighbour’s dustbin for coupons, obsessively collect, clip and file them alphabetically, and record all the products and their respective prices in your local grocery store by isle – Nothing to it.

Every junkie can pinpoint the start of their addiction, the first fix that got them hooked. And for me, it was “The Bachelor and Bachelorette”. Those rose ceremonies are so moving, and I sincerely wish Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi the best. May your life together be filled with love, laughter and… (Oops, they’re already over) Well, then I wish Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez the absolute best… (Oh, over too)

Sjoe! I’m really surprised; who would have thought you couldn’t find lasting and eternal love in front of a camera crew? 

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